Q&A with Santa Claus for ‘Arthur Christmas’
Q. How long have you been Santa Claus?
Santa: This will be my seventieth mission! Dear me! How the years fly by!
Q. Will you carry on for many more Christmases?
Santa: Well of course! I’m Santa! It’s the most wonderful job in the world and I thrive on it, yes indeed! It is a little exhausting these days what with so many children and presents and countries and cities and buildings and…what not… but…uuuh…’scuse me yawning…I love it!
Q. So no plans to hand over to your son Steve some day soon? I believe most Santas in the past have handed over after seventy years?
Santa: You mean, retire? Oh. What would I do all day?! And Steve’s, well, he’s splendid, you know, fiendishly clever, so many er…notions about technology and modernizing, and all that, he’s kept us bang up to date! Wonderful, never ceases to amaze me with his marvels! As he tells me, his ambition is to be ‘the most successful Santa ever’ – and I’m sure he will be. Um…One day.
Q. Tell us about your other son, Arthur?
Santa: Arthur! Dear dear boy. So keen you know, with all his…er…sweaters! And those slippers! Goodness! Such a…fan of Christmas. But it has been rather a puzzle finding the right niche for him at the Pole…We had him in catering but he plugged in too many Christmas decorations and fused the cookers – it was fish paste sandwiches for weeks! Then we tried him in maintenance, until that unfortunate business when he melted the elf barracks. And there was that spell in security of course, till he locked himself out of Exit 19 in his pajamas and had to be rescued by Polar Explorers. But he seems happy in the Mail Department thank goodness, so let’s hope that’s the Johnny.
Q. Is Arthur doing well in the Mail Department?
Santa: Well, um…he only manages to write twenty letters a week instead of the seven hundred the elf agents manage, he goes into such detail in his replies to the children. But he likes it, that’s the main thing.
Q. What’s your favorite time of year?
Santa: Apart from Christmas, of course, I rather like Easter. So nice to have a holiday period I’m not responsible for! Plus I’m a secret chocaholic. All Santas are, runs in the family. I ‘spose that’s how we end up a little, um, well-padded in the midrift!
Q. What’s your favorite color?
Santa: Red. Oh… and white. Red-and-white. Can one have that as a color? This is tricky!
Q. What’s your favorite food?
Santa: That’s easier – chocolate! Oh dear ..or perhaps I should say my dear wife Margaret’s soup. She’s a marvel you know! Give her a stock cube, a carrot and a spring of parsley and she’ll whisk you up a liquid miracle before you can name the eight reindeer! So warming, a good soup.
Q. What’s your favorite weather?
Santa: Snow. Always. That’s why I love having my home here at the North Pole. As I always say, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Q. How do you celebrate Christmas yourself?
Santa: Quite honestly, we’re all so tired after delivering all the presents we sleep through the whole thing till Boxing Day! But I always have turkey dinner with the family early Christmas morning before we go to bed. Bit of a challenge, forcing down Brussel sprouts at 4am, especially after all the milk and cookies I eat during the deliveries – but Arthur loves it so, and Margaret thinks it’s important we have a little family time together. So we all join in, even Steve. And of course my father, Grandsanta, if he um, manages to stay awake! If he does nod off we pull a couple of Christmas crackers before his beard hits the gravy – does the trick without hurting his feelings!
Q. What do you get your family for Christmas?
Santa: Oh dear – um, good point – must get on to that, I’m so fearfully busy in the run up to Christmas worrying about the six hundred million children we have to deliver to! Margaret likes scarves. So that’s always a safe bet thank goodness. And Steve and Father…oh dear… tricky…I ‘spose there’s always book tokens. As for Arthur, we’ve only just stopped doing him a full stocking. He does so LOVE the whole thing. I have to creep into his room and try to deliver his present without him seeing. I mean of course, he knows it’s me, Santa, his father – but he says he mustn’t see me, it ruins the magic.
Q. What would you like for Christmas?
Santa: Ho ho, that’s my line! Well, um… since you ask…socks. Nice warm socks. Those terribly clever thermal ones with padding that stop your boots rubbing. Another wonderful innovation of modern times!
Q. Thank you, and Happy Christmas!
Santa: And to you! With knobs on! Or rather, berries! Ho ho ho, and an extra ho to all your readers!
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